9-5: What a way to make a livin’

It would be fair to say that songs about work are pretty negative; understandably, some of the charm of becoming a rock star is never having to work in an office, shop or factory. Bruce Springsteen, in his Broadway residency in 2018, gleefully admits he’s made a successful career out of writing songs about blue-collar factory workers, but he’s never done a proper day’s work, and never stepped foot in a factory. Also, there’s Morrissey’s “I was looking for a job / And then I found a job / Heaven knows I’m miserable now”.

Luckily, you’ve all been working from home during lockdown. In case you’re perversely yearning office life, here’s ten reminders of what you’re not missing.

1. 9-5 – Dolly Parton
Workin’ 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin’
Barely gettin’ by
It's all takin’
And no givin’

They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it

2. Step Into My Office, Baby – Belle and Sebastian
I’m a slave to work
I’m only living when I walk
Amongst the office staff
And catch up with the office wag

I’ll be in bed by nine
My curtains drawn
My thoughts composed
I get to work on time

3. Career Opportunities – The Clash
They offered me the office, offered me the shop
They said I’d better take anything they got
Do you wanna make tea at the BBC?
Do you wanna be, do you really wanna be a cop?

Career opportunities, the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep you out the dock
Career opportunity, the ones that never knock

4. Manic Monday – The Bangles
Have to catch an early train
Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an aeroplane
I still couldn’t make it on time

‘Cause it takes me so long (Oh, oh)
Just to figure out what I’m gonna wear
Blame it on the train
But the boss is already there

5. Artificial – Martha Tillston
This artificial me
I’d like to show you what I really could be
I’d like to run across the office tables
Singing “No you won’t have me
No, no you won’t have me
No, no you won’t have me
No, no you won’t have me
And I’ll keep running ‘til I reach the sea”

6. Maggie’s Farm – Bob Dylan
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
No, I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more
Well I try my best
To be just like I am
But everybody wants you
To be just like them
They sing while they slave and just get bored
I ain’t gonna work on, nah
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more

7. A Hard Day’s Night – The Beatles
It’s been a hard day’s night, and I’ve been working like a dog
It's been a hard day’s night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I’ll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things
And it's worth it just to hear you say you’re going to give me everything
So why on earth should I moan, ‘cause when I get you alone
You know I feel okay

8. Five O’clock World – The Vogues (or Julian Cope, if you prefer)
Up every morning just to keep a job (up!)
I gotta fight my way through the hustling mob (up!)
Sounds of the city pounding in my brain (up!)
While another day goes down the drain (up!)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah) but it’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows
No-one owns a piece of my time
And there’s a five o’clock me inside my clothes
Thinking that the world looks fine, yeah
A-da-lay-ee-ee (up, up, up!)
Trading my time for the pay I get (up!)
Living on money that I ain’t made yet (up!)
Gotta keep goin’ gotta make my way (up!)
But I live for the end of the day (up!)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah) ‘cause it’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows

9. Money For Nothing – Dire Straits
Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
You play the guitar on the MTV
That ain’t workin’ that's the way you do it
Money for nothin’ and chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these colour TVs

10. Don’t Talk To Me About Work – Lou Reed
Don’t talk to me about work
Please don’t talk to me about work
I’m up to my eyeballs in dirt
With work, with work

How many dollars, how many sales
How many liars, how many tales
How many insults must you take in this one life