In a controversial move to ease congestion on London’s over-crowded travel network, officials have announced the banning of all bags on trains, tubes and buses, estimating this will free up 39% of space on the networks. Rucksacks in particular take up the space of one person, a TFL official explained, and are extremely annoying, seeing as the oblivious owners whack other people with them when they turn around. “At worst rucksacks present a security issue and may contain an explosive device; at best they contain pointless clutter – either way they are a nuisance”, the same official explained.

Free transport!
It would seem churlish not to take advantage of the endless engineering works besetting the rail network. So, travel for free! The replacement buses and coaches put on never check tickets, so hitch a ride for free, even if it’s not to where you want to go, even if it does take four times as long as the train.

A while ago I had to endure a bus replacement ride to Fleet in Hampshire. The train from Clapham Junction to Fleet usually takes 45 minutes; the replacement bus got lost and took nearly four hours. Still, it was a free journey, and I enjoyed seeing countryside I’d never seen before.

Previously on Barnflakes
See it. Say it. Sod it
Public transport courtesy cards
Pet hates #1,287: the rucksack